Meet the Family

Phil He's an accountant at a real estate firm. A perfect day for Phil is taking the newspaper to the park and judging people. Not in a negative sense. But just figuring out people's life story based on the split second observations he makes as they pass by his bench. He loves his family and enjoys reminiscing with them more than dreaming.

Kim                 Phil's wife. Kim works part time at Flowers Naturally. She hates that she loves Martha Stewart so much. Knows it's ridiculous that she gets excited about bending and shaping wicker. She's one of the few moms at her kids’ school who doesn't compete through them.

Sara Phil and Kim’s daughter. Loves horses but hates ponies. Loves books but hates libraries. Sometimes she wishes her brother would move to Australia. Or at least do better at leaving her alone.

Sam Phil and Kim’s son. Sam would eat syrup with every meal if you let him. Loves anything that involves loud noises. Wishes he could move to Australia so he could ride kangaroos to school.

Grandma Phil’s mom. Nobody really knows if grandma is crazy or ditsy or a little buzzed. That blurred line is what makes her the best part of any situation. At church she says the things you think but would never say. She lacks the filter to keep inner thoughts inner. Children love her because to them randomness is normal.

Ron Phil’s step dad. Ron’s walls are covered in animal heads but he has never hunted in his life. He passes out when he sees blood.  Ron is a storyteller and accidental story-topper. He doesn't mean to top your story he just wants to relate to you. Phil can't really stand him but only because he's married to his dad's wife.

Bridgette Phil’s stepsister, Ron’s daughter. Bridgette is in grad school studying to be a counselor for kleptomaniac mothers who can’t stay out of malls. Her major changes every month. Ron pays for everything but in her mind she has less money than the homeless people she serves. Every sandwich she hands out she feels a connection that only the "poor" have with each other.

Ben Bridgette’s boyfriend. He’s also in grad school. Law school, actually. He’s soon to flunk out because he lacks the common sense to do things like baby-sit, cook a meal, listen for longer than a minute. He's the president of the national amateur association of grad school broomball. It’s an unhealthy obsession rooted in obscure competition.

Arist Kim's brother. Knows more than he should about wine. Actually, his knowledge isn't the problem it's his need for you to know he's knowledgeable. He's chronically unhappy because he can't stop measuring things. Even when he's eating out he knows when someone gets more mashed potatoes than him.